You've been together a long time and though you seem meant for each other, he hasn't even mentioned the "M" word. There are countless reasons why he might not have popped the question yet, but the most significant one is … fear. If you have been dating for a long time and your personalities are clearly compatible, then you need to figure out what is scaring him off. Here are some of the main factors that will stop a man from proposing marriage:
1. Fear of Commitment
He is afraid that the minute he settles down, the "perfect" woman will show up and he'll be trapped because he committed too soon. Give him time, try not to pressure him, but also let him know it's not realistic of him to want you to wait forever. Help him realize that you are his perfect woman!
2. Fear of Change
He's positive that with the wedding vows comes a complete change in his current lifestyle. If you currently spend every waking minute together, let him go out with the guys. Let him see that you understand he has friends, and that you do not expect your marriage to replace that.
3. Fear of His History
He's afraid his past will come back to haunt him. Has he been married before? Was he once jilted at the altar? Does he come from a broken home? He needs to know that just because his ex-wife ran off with a rich doctor, or his parents fought every day,doesn't mean his relationship with you will emulate that.
4. Fear of Your History
He fears your past will come back to haunt both of you. Your past could be old boyfriends or an ex-husband, or even something financial, such as bad credit. He may fear that your prior actions can hold your relationship back. Try to pinpoint what part of your past he is most worried about and try to address those matters - assure him he is the only one for you, or show him you are taking financial responsibility.
5. Fear of What He Has to Offer
He may be a pre-law student, waiting tables at the local eatery, and he is seeing only what he can give you now. You, on the other hand, can see the big picture - the two of you working together as a team to get each other through this time. Let him know the skimping you go through now will be that much sweeter when your goals are accomplished together.
6. Fear That You'll Say No
Sounds silly, right? However, if you've been ultra-patient and have avoided scaring him with talk of weddings and such, he may think marriage isn't even on your mind. Next time you're chatting, casually drop in a nonthreatening sentence. If you're both watching a travel show about Fiji, you could say, "That looks like the perfect honeymoon getaway." Once a few hints are out there, he'll realize you'll probably say yes when the time comes.
Often the things not readily seen are what sabotage a relationship. Don't let fear ruin your life together! Use the above guidelines and manifest a fantastic future!
Sincerely,
No comments:
Post a Comment